Not College Material

     Late summer of 1975 found me in a familiar car – an old white Volkswagen Beetle belonging to my childhood friend, Mary. That day we were on a three-hour drive humming along Michigan’s I-96, skirting Lansing onto the 127 towards Jackson to Spring Arbor College, where Mary would soon begin classes. I was along for the ride.

     Excitement filled the car. I thought of the many campus visits in my future and the continuation of fun, life experiences and memories we would have through her years there. We checked out the campus and her dorm building. She had a meeting with the admissions counselor, Mr. Karl Sommerville. I sat quietly until Mr. Sommerville looked directly at me. “So, Pat, what are you doing with your life?” Uhhhhh – basically, nothing, I thought.

     “Why don’t you consider starting the fall semester, too?” Classes would begin in a few weeks! Mr. Sommerville didn’t know what he had gotten himself into by trying to recruit me. There was a forest of obstacles ahead of us, not the least of which was finances. I couldn’t afford any college let alone a private Christian college education. Should I even mention it to my single mom? We often struggled to keep the electricity from being turned off! I decided to casually mention Mr. Sommerville’s question when she asked how the trip went. One of my most precious memories of mom was her amazingly positive response. “Go for it. We’ll figure out the finances.”

     Another huge hurdle were my grades in high school. When I would receive a “C” ----- there was rejoicing! I struggled terribly with anxiety, an inability to focus on studies, and low self-esteem. I’ve always been surprised I graduated with all of my D’s and F’s. S A T or A C T scores? None for me.

     I was not college material. However, I had to take the A C T when applying to Spring Arbor College. It was no surprise my scores were not anywhere near acceptable for entrance. It was embarrassing to let others know the struggling home I came from and who I was in high school. What was I thinking by allowing others into my life and attempting to go down this highly unlikely road to college? Despite the serious obstacles of money and grades, Mr. Sommerville continued on my behalf. I imagine him meeting with committee members and college heads. I do know that he told others he “saw something in me” and worked to have me accepted as a ‘conditional student’ when no other way worked. He looked into grants and loans and met with my mom. Classes were chosen. A dorm room was found, as was a job in the dish room to earn a little money. However, I still had not been formally accepted. I was already on campus getting settled in when I got the official news that I could be there. Being accepted was a miracle and Mr. Sommerville most certainly was my guiding angel.

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     The process so far was nerve-wracking, but nothing like my freshman year. High school graduation was two years earlier. At twenty, I continued to struggle with my anxiety. The two-year gap had not made studying any easier for me. The onset of serious sinus infections, misdiagnosed as mononucleosis, sidelined me. I missed weeks of classes recuperating at home. What kept me going with this fantasy of college? Maybe it was an unconscious desperation to leave a life that I felt was going nowhere. Maybe it was that two professors kindly removed some of the required work I had missed and another allowed me catch-up time from home over the summer. That allowed me to take a deep breath and do the needed work.

     Sophomore year improved. My body was healthy and it seemed that my mind was better, as well. I was starting to get the knack of how to study. Though I still did not have grades to brag about, I remember sensing a change happening.

     My junior and senior years seemed to lift me into a very different realm. Anxiety was still a battle, but my grades improved. I became actively involved with Student Government and a number of other organizations – both on and off campus. I felt accomplished with proud moments and contributions I made to help others. It felt wonderful to be a vital part of the community.

     Over those four years I grew into believing I was capable and valued in others’ lives. As many graduates can attest, we look back and see an astonishing metamorphosis that happened during our college years. For me it was as if I was wrapped in a cocoon of supportive adults, wonderful friendships, my faith and a growing belief of what I might accomplish.

     I graduated with my head held high and a future with promise. I am grateful to my mom for telling me to “go for it” and to Karl Sommerville who saw something in me – someone he had just met – and made the decision to fight for me. The forest of uncertainty that held me for 20 years gradually diminished. The dark path I had struggled on widened and brightened during college. The difficulties slowly cleared and I was able to move forward with clarity in a precious and productive life. Yes, I had debt for years, but I have never doubted that every single cent had a value one hundred-fold. Beyond any financial privilege, my education has gifted me with the ability to live a life of confidence, gratefulness and peace. Education has continued throughout my life. I am now an Emeritus student halfway through my 60s. I am deeply thankful that my struggle with education evolved to a passion that continues to help me thrive.

     One of the most important things I learned is the power of believing in someone, fighting for their future and watching them soar. To do for others what was done for me has been a debt I continue to gladly carry.

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Notes:
I learned at age 28 that my anxiety was agoraphobia. I successfully worked through that challenge with a targeted program.
Spring Arbor College became Spring Arbor University in 2001.